How to get the feedback you didn’t want to hear
9. Don’t hold feedback against the people who gave it to you. Every single person who gets feedback feels the same way: exposed. You might feel a little defensive, or even angry. Learn to connect with others over the experience for support. Don’t shoot the messenger.
10. Don’t put the feedback in a drawer. Feedback is a message given to you by others who care enough to tell you the truth. If all you do is throw it in a drawer and forget about it, it’s not worth going through the process at all.
If you adhere to these suggestions, you will be in a much stronger place to capitalize on the learning available in the feedback you receive.
Of course, feedback isn’t the only way to learn about yourself. It’s also helpful to round out the feedback you get from others with the reflection you do on your own, by taking psychological or scientific assessments, and having good old-fashioned one-on-one conversations with people who can help you be a better you. But feedback is a powerful tool. Like all tools, it serves a particular purpose. The more you learn about how to use feedback for what it can and can't do, the more productive the experience will be.
The process of receiving feedback is a vulnerable one, but ironically the feedback can strengthen you as a leader. Follow these dos and don'ts to be sure you make the most of the opportunity.
Joelle K. Jay, Ph.D. (http://joellekjay.com/) is an executive coach specializing in leadership development and the author of "The Inner Edge: The 10 Practices of Personal Leadership," in which shows leaders how to improve their effectiveness by learning to lead themselves. Her newsletter, The Inner Edge Quarterly, offers articles, exercises, tips, quotes and success stories from real leaders to help you excel. To register, please visit http://www.theinneredge.com/ and click on Newsletter, or e-mail Info@TheInnerEdge.com.
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