Get your employees and co-workers to do what YOU want
Positive communications elevate the spirit; they offer encouragement and support. They send the message that the other person is capable of handling challenges. Positivity creates hope and prompts feelings of being valued, supported, and respected. Communicating in positive terms triggers enthusiasm, capability, pride, dependability, and responsibility—none of which are triggered by negativity.
Because being positive is so enabling, it makes sense to stop all thoughts and communications that are negative. Therefore, become conscious of phrasing your communications with your team so they will be in positive terms. Continually ask yourself: “How can I communicate this message in a positive way?” For example, saying, “Don’t be late again tomorrow,” is disabling, and prompts being late because the word “don’t” is not visualized; what comes after the “don’t” is what the brain visualizes. “I look forward to your being on time tomorrow,” prompts the picture you want, is enabling, and is much more effective.
When people resist doing something you ask of them or do something contrary to your instructions, rather than force your request on them, offer them choices; then watch how quickly their resistance weakens. Offering choices paves the way to changing behavior and is much more effective than barking orders. By giving staff members some degree of control, you will get more cooperation. There is a simple reason for this: People do not argue with their own decisions.
Even when there are no choices about whether or not to do something, you can build in some element of choice. Just a small one qualifies because any choice allows the person to retain dignity and power. For example, suppose you need one of your employees to do a webinar to educate current clients about some new product features. The choice is not whether to do the webinar. The choice is in the how. “Would you like to do a live WebEx meeting or a recorded demo of the new features?” By giving a choice of how to do the presentation, you can avoid a confrontation. Offering choices is a simple approach you can use to immediately reduce resistance.
The most effective approach for influencing another person is to ask reflective questions. When specific reflective questions are asked, people are prompted to think, reconsider, change their minds, and grow. By asking this type of question, you will accomplish what you want more effectively, with less resistance, and with less stress. By having the employee reflect, you instantly avoid the person’s natural resistance to being controlled.