Healing a broken relationship at work
2. Avoid “Compensatory” Behaviors or Work-arounds
For example, those who don’t believe a relationship will get any better start to work around it. In medicine, such activities are called “compensatory behaviors” because the patient is “compensating” for the deficient limb or process. This can be a problem; first, because it puts extra strain on the other parts of someone’s life. Long-term problems can develop in those relationships that have to bear the extra weight. Second, compensating behaviors don’t allow the original broken relationship to fully heal. They simply hide it.
3. Use Crutches and Other Aids Temporarily
On the other hand, doctors do prescribe crutches and other aids when damage initially occurs. It is not unreasonable to keep weight off a relationship for a bit while the anger subsides. But importantly, doctors prescribe crutches so you can still function normally – not so you can avoid putting any and all weight on the foot. In real life, we still have to function even with a broken relationship. The proper temporary aids, like having a third co-worker present, or alerting a boss to keep things operating smoothly, is allowable - but only temporarily, and only in extreme situations.
Other temporary aids might include compliments and extra “Thank Yous.” Think of these as adding ointments or icy-hot to a broken leg. They don’t really heal it from the inside, but they do ease the pain and make it more bearable while the real work of healing is being done.
4. Put It Up At Night
Everyone knows that a medical doctor will recommend putting a broken leg up at night. This helps it heal and can be thought of as “draining the blood out of it.” The same thing applies to broken relationships - you need to drain the blood out of them occasionally. Many a close friend and spouse have wished a loved one would put a broken relationship out of mind. Stop picking at the wound. If you wish, think of it as allowing your subconscious to work on the problem while your conscious self gets some time off. Either way, put it up at night. It will actually heal better if you don’t obsess and worry it constantly.
5. Exercise It As Soon As You Can
Eventually, every broken relationship, like a broken leg, demands exercise and real use. This is the part that most people are afraid of. What if it hurts? What if it doesn’t feel exactly like it did before it was broken?